and, just like that, i'm done...

i'm home now. seems weird, ya know? like, to think i'm not going back. i'm done with school. anyways, i've had a fairly ridiculous semester, and i love relient k, and somehow, these words totally fit the situation. so, thanks relient k for supplying the words once again to describe exactly my feelings...

"i made it through the year, and i did not even collapse;
gotta say, "thank God, for that."
i'm torn between what keeps me whole
and what tears me in half;
i'll fall apart or stay intact.

with tired eyes i stumble back to bed;
i need to realize my sorry life's not hanging by a thread,
at least not yet.

so look at me now,
it's finally christmas and i'm home;
head indoors, to get out of this weather.
and i don't know how,
but the closest friends i've ever known are all inside
singing together,
singing merry christmas, here's to many more.

it always hurt to be all by myself this time of year,
a cold and lonely christmas eve.
and living out my days alone,
well that had been my deepest fear,
but You promised You won't leave.

i look towards the east and see a star.
Jesus Christ, it's blessed my life to know just who you are;
You are my hope.

so look at me now,
it's finally christmas and i'm home;
head indoors, to get out of this weather.
and i don't know how,
but the closest friends i've ever known are all inside
singing together,
singing merry christmas, here's to many more.

deck the halls with mistletoe;
may all your heavy burdens go
up the chimney in a cloud of smoke
the fire's burning bright.
strike up the band and play the tune,
cause christmas will be here and soon;
you'll hear our song in every room
this merry christmas night.

fa la la la la la la la ...

singing merry christmas, here's to many more..."

-- relient k: merry christmas, here's to many more

i heart relient k.

they certainly have a way with words.

"it's always nice to look out the window
and see those very first few flakes of snow,
and later on we can go outside
and create the impression of an angel that just fell from the sky.

when february rolls around i'll roll my eyes,
turn a cold shoulder to these even colder skies,
and, by the fire, my heart it heaves a sigh
for the green grass waiting on the other side.

it's always winter but never christmas;
it seems this curse just can't be lifted.
yet in the midst of all this ice and snow,
our hearts stay warm cause they are filled with hope.

it'd be so nice to look out the window
and see the leaves on the trees begin to show.
the birds would congregate and sing
a song of birth, a song of newer things.

the wind would calm, and the sun would shine.
i'd go outside, and i'd squint my eyes.
but for now i will simply just withdraw,
sit here, and wish for this world to thaw.

it's always winter but never christmas;
it seems this curse just can't be lifted.
yet in the midst of all this ice and snow,
our hearts stay warm cause they are filled with hope.

and everything it changed overnight;
this dying world, You brought it back to life.
and deep inside i felt things
shifting everything was melting
away oh away,
and you gave us the most beautiful of days.

cause when it's always winter but never christmas
sometimes it feels like You're not with us
but deep inside our hearts we know
that You are here and we will not lose hope..."

-- relient k: in like a lion (always winter)

hmmm...

so, i realize it's been almost 3 months since i last said anything, and this post isn't going to be particularly informative, but i thought i'd leave a small bit anyway. suffice it to say, i've had an unexpectedly busy semester. busy, but fun. i've grown closer to some of the most amazing girls i've ever met and further from some friends i never thought i'd forget, but, more importantly, i've grown. and for that, i thank God. actually, some friends and i were talking about that, how much we've changed in the last two and a half years, and i have to say, of all the things i expected, this was not in the picture. i never expected to be one of "those" girls, wearing colors or caring (at least a little) how i look. i never expected to sit up half the night having deep conversations and laughing my head off with a girl who wears more pink than barbie and actually enjoys listening to the gaithers, and least of all to have come to call her one of my all time best friends. yeah, there have been a lot of "unexpecteds" here. it's been tougher than i thought it would be, and some of my greatest learned lessons have come with a lot of pain involved. but i wouldn't trade it for anything.

so, as yet another semester winds down to a close and i contemplate the fact that a year from now i'll be getting ready to graduate (and that terrifies the crap outta me), i thought, being in a christmassy mood, i'd post the lyrics to a christmas song i absolutely love for others' enjoyment (because i'm so sure anyone other than me reads my thoughts...). so, here ya go. this is "i celebrate the day" by relient k:

and with this Christmas wish is missed
the point i could convey.
if only i could find the words to say to let You know how much You've touched my life,
because here is where You're finding me, in the exact same place as New Year's eve.
and, from a lack of my persistency,
we're less than half as close as i want to be.

and the first time
that You opened Your eyes, did You realize that You would be my Savior?
and the first breath that left Your lips,
did You know that it would change this world forever?

and the first time
that You opened Your eyes, did You realize that You would be my Savior?
and the first breath that left Your lips,
did You know that it would change this world forever?

and so this christmas i'll compare the things i felt in prior years
to what this midnight made so clear,
that You have come to meet me here.

to look back and think that
this baby would one day save me,
in the hope that what You did
that you were born so i might really live.
to look back and think that
this baby would one day save me.

and the first time
that You opened Your eyes, did You realize that You would be my Savior?
and the first breath that left Your lips,
did You know that it would change this world forever?

and the first time
that You opened Your eyes, did You realize that You would be my Savior?
and the first breath that left Your lips,
did You know that it would change this world forever?

and i, i celebrate the day
that You were born to die,
so i could one day pray for You to save my life

pray for You to save my life

pray for You to save my life...